Yesterday, over coffee with a close friend, I traveled back in time to a season of our shared church life that now, in retrospect, seems almost mythic in its beauty and significance in our lives. In that long season we experienced the euphoria that wells up when you live and work and minister together with people hungry to grow in their relationship with Jesus—in an affectionate, creative, and family-like environment. It was easy to remember when the air was thick with laughter, the sanctuary was a second-home to our kids, and the foyer was a sea of faces who enjoyed us as much as we enjoyed them.
And, of course, it was also painful to remember all of this with my friend.
Since that long, glowing season of ministry that bound us together in friendship, we’ve experienced the micro-losses embedded in the macro-downfall of the church.
- Our beloved senior pastor and friend was forced out of the church by insurrectionist elders who demanded a change of focus and a change of culture.
- Forced to escape an imploding church and the shattering of our relationships, we re-entered the church-search liminal space—trying to reattach ourselves and grow within a new community.
- As we entered “courtship” with new church communities, we experienced the hope of possibility followed, months later, by disappointment and disorientation. We wondered if we’d ever feel at home again in a congregation.
- In the sanctuaries of these new churches we saw the “diaspora” of people who fell overboard as our beloved church took on water and sank, all of them longing to belong again, and all of them rendered cautious because of the trauma. We were together again, but strangely separated.
My friend and I are “lifer” churchgoers—we’ll always be active members of a congregation, because we can’t help ourselves. In John 6, after Jesus has driven away thousands of people because His repeated invitation to “eat my body and drink my blood” is so confusing and offensive, He asks His disciples if they’re going to abandon Him as well. And Peter says: “Where else would we go? Only you have the words of life and truth” (John 6:68). I have a deep resonance with Peter in this moment, and a kindred embrace of his childlike attachment to Jesus (and His church).
It’s just that embracing the church feels, very often, like squeezing a porcupine. Especially in our current moment, when so much negativity and division and disillusionment surrounds the church. And yet… According to a just-released study by the social-science cooperative More In Common, this narrative of polarization and disintegration in the church may be overstated, and hope may be lurking under the cover of clouds…
The report, titled “Promising Revelations: Undoing the False Impressions of America’s Faithful,” focuses on the responses of more than 6,000 American churchgoers (read the entire study in detail HERE). In the Foreword to the research results, the More In Common team writes: “The findings in this study challenge some key parts of the story that we have been hearing about our polarized landscape. The evidence shows something different to what we might expect: more shared values, more desire to keep faith distinct from partisan politics, more longing to transcend divisions, more respect for each other, more commitment to pluralism, and more desire for guidance and help from local faith leaders and institutions in navigating this difficult time in American life. We also find less intolerance towards other faiths, and less of a generation gap within faith communities.”
Researchers uncovered a handful of widescale misperceptions about the current state of the church, including these three (condensed from the full report)…
Misperception #1: Faith Is All About Politics
“There are big gaps between most Americans’ perceptions and the reality
of the role of politics in religious life… Non-Evangelicals… often overestimate the percentage of Evangelicals who are Republican (63 percent estimate versus 46 percent in reality). These misperceptions carry significant consequences. Democrats and Independents who overestimate the percentage of Republicans among Evangelicals tend to have more negative views towards all Evangelicals. We call this phenomenon ‘collateral contempt’—the tendency for animosity towards political opponents to spill over to religious groups that are perceived to be aligned with one political team… The overwhelming norm among America’s religious populations, including among Evangelicals, is that spiritual life is not a political arena. Americans of faith in general are mostly hesitant to discuss political issues in religious settings… How a person votes is not seen by most as a litmus test for whether or not they are a ‘good’ Christian, Jew, or Muslim. Instead, their moral values, relationship with God, and the spiritual edification they experience as part of a faith community are seen as much more important.”
Misperception #2: Faith Is Becoming Irrelevent In Americans’ Lives
“Americans also have significant perception gaps when it comes to understanding how important faith is to their fellow citizens, especially to younger generations. Reports about the increase in religious “nones”—the population who identify as having no religious affiliation—and declining membership of some Mainline Protestant churches do capture important trends in American society. But the general public underestimates the value Americans, especially younger Americans, still place on personal faith and belonging to faith communities. In fact, our research found that most Americans (73 percent) see their faith as an important part of who they are. Young generations of Jewish and Muslim Americans, in particular, value their Jewish and Muslim identity much more than commonly assumed… Local faith communities or houses of worship face increased competition in their role of offering spiritual authority and guidance, yet they do offer a sense of belonging that is still prized by younger Americans.”
Misperception #3: Religious Americans Are Intolerant
“Americans also have sizable perception gaps on issues concerning the role of religion in public life, and often misperceive religious Americans to be broadly intolerant of other faiths. The majority of Americans across religious groups value religious pluralism and want the United States to be a place where people of all religions feel that they belong. For example, this ideal is shared by the majority of American Evangelicals (78 percent) and Muslims (75 percent), yet the general public imagines that only around half of Evangelicals and Muslims are supportive of religious pluralism… Most do not see a conflict between recognizing the many ways in which Christianity shaped America through past centuries, and their personal commitment to building a pluralistic society.”
Yes, we live in a troubling and turbulent time for the American church. But as religious researcher Dr. Ryan Burge reiterates, after assessing the divisive forces at work in the religious landscape: “You should go to church—it brings to life so many positive things, even if you don’t believe in its message!” I know my friend and I, no matter our long road back from church-trauma, will keep going to church, and keep believing. Because, like Peter, we are “where else would we go” people…
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Help Is On the Way!
Fall is on our doorstep, and we innovative, practical resources that will help you infuse your ministry environment with “rich soil” for transformation. Releasing TODAY is our newest resource—The Sacred Stories Project. This multi-media resource offers your people a simple, safe, and “normal” way to share aspects of their story in natural, genuine ways. And you get a more connected, honest, and “known” congregation. It’s four guided sessions with accompanying video segments from Adam Young, trauma counselor and host of the podcast The Place We Find Ourselves. And check out our new resource Listening to Jesus Together. It’s a set of six carefully crafted “listening encounters” designed for three people to experience together—online or in-person. The goal is to give people in your congregation a weekly “reminder habit” to help them listen to Jesus in the context of a short-term small-community experience. Next, Following Jesus is a curriculum resource you can use with both adults and teenagers in your church this fall—help them explore what an ABIDING/REMAINING relationship with Jesus is like. It’s an experiential, highly interactive, co-discovery way to invite people into deeper intimacy with Jesus. And The Life of Jesus TalkCards is a simple, devotional way to invite small groups into the heart of Jesus.
Meanwhile, check out our next Fall MasterClass! Join me as I lead a new two-session MasterClass called The Ministry of Presence: Unlocking Purpose In Your People—Wednesdays, Sept. 25 & Oct. 2. We know from current research into the state of U.S. congregations that many, many people sitting in our sanctuaries are lonely, sometimes dangerously lonely. They are unseen, even in communities of faith that have a mission to connect people in nurturing, faith-forming relationships. So, if we want to create an ecosystem of deeper connections, we’ll need to lean in to the Ministry of Presence—the Jesus-centered art and skill of pursuing people in a way that “unlocks” them. I’ll draw from decades of experience practicing the Ministry of Presence in groups of teenagers and adults, along with the “best practices” of others who are training leaders to seed environments of thriving connection. Register HERE.
The Sacred Stories Project, a multi-media resource, includes individual guides for a Leader Session and three Participant Sessions—all designed to seed the start of a storytelling culture in your church. The simple goal is to invite members of your congregation into a simple, progressive way to tell the stories of their life. This process has the power to transform your community and open your people to new depth in their relationship with God. Learn More Here