Let’s do a little reverse-engineering…
As ministry leaders, we know that spiritual transformation always happens in the context of relationship. That’s true theologically and experientially. When we say “relational ministry” it’s really a reiteration—all ministry is relational, and all relationships invite ministry. And the Trinity spotlights the mechanics of the relational reality that is the engine of transformation in the Kingdom of God…
- The Father points to His Son as the exemplar, and urges us to “listen to Him!”
- The Son points out, over and over, that everything He says and does is a reflection of what He sees in His Father.
- The Spirit, Jesus says, will “come to [us] from the Father and will testify all about me.”
There’s a relational foundation that underlies the everyday ways God is advancing His redemptive mission in the world—it’s a mutually honoring, mutually appreciative, mutually vulnerable, mutually loving ecosystem. So, tracking forward from this, our core practice as ministry leaders is to engage others as relational artists. In fact, if we wanted to get radical, maybe we’d replace “pastor” or “minister” with “relational artist.” On the surface that smacks of hubris, but it’s a jolting way to upend our humdrum expectations. I mean, when we engage others in our ministry, and in our everyday life, do we see ourselves as artists working in our chosen medium? Our canvas is the heart of the person in front of us, our art supplies include questions, responses, observations, stories, and a kind of pirate-like willingness to take chances…
Some years ago I was at a gathering of speakers, convened the day before we were all set to lead, engage, and upend participants of the Simply Jesus Gathering, a sort-of international conference for people who love Jesus and are trying to walk in His ways. The organizers liked to bring the speakers together for a day of community, to build a relational foundation among those tapped to shape the experience for participants. One of the those in the circle of speakers was a man I’d never met before—his name is Dick Foth, and he’d spent the last quarter-century influencing high-level leaders in business and government to know Jesus and walk in His ways. And he was a teaching pastor at four different churches. He had the relaxed demeanor of a man who no longer wants or needs to prove anything. He was a man without guile.
So, deep into a circle-conversation about the primacy of relationship in ministry, Dick managed to rivet the room with this quiet and unassuming treatise on the artistry of engaging others…
What I’ve learned through my work in business and government is that there are two things that we deal with our whole lives—and those are relationships and money. One of those will make us rich…
We’re here because of who we know. This is a relational gathering… In Genesis 1, God says, “It is not good that man should be alone.” God doesn’t put this in the positive, He puts it in the negative. And the whole rest of the canon speaks to this issue—how it is not good that we should be alone. So, maturity that leads to transformation involves increasing our capacity to ask questions that lead us toward together and away from alone.
On a practical level, I go back time and again to two questions that transport my encounters away from alone-ness:
1) Where were you born and brought up (raised)? Does Jesus have an interest in this question? Yes, as the inclusion of the census in the gospel of Matthew proves. Why would God go out of his way to give us the details of where Jesus was from? This is a basic level of conversation—much better than asking: “What do you do?” That’s a limiting question. On airplanes, I often ask: “Are you leaving home or going home?” What does this have to do with Jesus? Nothing, if you don’t want to love like Jesus does.
2) Anything I can do for you? In other versions of this question, I ask: “Anything I can pray for you about?” This is a Jesus question, because He came to seek and save. If you ask that question authentically, your life will always have meaning, you’ll always have friends, and you’ll always have work.
By the way, if the situation invites a more forward-looking energy, I ask: “Is there a place in the world you wish you could go to, if you could?” And: “What would you do with a million dollars?”
I love the upending simplicity of Dick Foth’s unassuming treatise. His questions still reverberate in me, many years after I first heard them. If we are to live in the way of Jesus, and reflect the heart of the Trinity, we will begin to see ourselves as relational artists, and we will always be looking for new canvases to paint.
Rick Lawrence is Executive Director of Vibrant Faith—he created the new curriculum Following Jesus. He’s editor of the Jesus-Centered Bible and author of 40 books, including his new release Editing Jesus: Confronting the Distorted Faith of the American Church, The Suicide Solution, The Jesus-Centered Life and Jesus-Centered Daily. He hosts the podcast Paying Ridiculous Attention to Jesus.