What We’re Learning: Culture Change
Our longtime colleague, favorite coach, and dear friend Jim Ladoux would always ask our Vibrant Faith team (and pretty much everyone he’s ever coached): “What’s your scorecard?”
Churches have long been known for evaluating success in physical rather than spiritual terms, haven’t they? It’s the ABC’s—attendance, buildings, and cash. Jim’s purpose is to invite the ministry leaders he coaches to use a different set of criteria. For example…
- Do we help people practice the gift of prayer whenever we’re gathered, more than just saying grace before we dig into the potluck?
- Do we watch for the ways our people share their stories with one another—are they leaning into authenticity or staying on the surface?
- How are we practically helping people talk about their faith in everyday conversation?
Yes, these criteria represent a completely different scorecard. And, yes, this way of measuring success calls for a completely different “ruler.”
Vibrant Faith is now well into year three of our work with our 19 churches in our 4th-Soil Parenting Project. We’re right now making sure our churches are deep into a transition from conventional “activity-based” strategies to those focused on building relationships with parents and between parents and their kids. We’re testing a different scorecard with them. With a nod to Jim’s scorecard question, we’re not asking how our 4th-Soil Parenting Project resources have changed family church attendance patterns. Instead, we want to know :
- What are parents reporting about faith conversations in their homes?
- How has the 4th-Soil Parenting Project changed the relational culture at their church?
We’re still collecting stories from the first question, but here are a few reports about changes in congregational life thus far…
- One church’s 4th-Soil Project Team discussed and shared the messages they want to be reinforcing regularly at our family/intergenerational monthly program: 1. You are not alone. 2. Everyone is welcome. 3. Everyone has a voice, and every voice is valued. 4. Church is good. We need one another. It is not just about “going” to church, but about being there for one another. 5. We want to offer you hope and support. The focus for parents is home-centered and church-supported. 6. It’s okay to be messy. Families are messy. It’s where God is present. 7. We are each unique but have unity across the generations (from the youngest baby present at their family programming to 83-year-old Eleanor who wants to not just be there but help and facilitate conversation). All ages! 8. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to ask questions. We are all, always, learning.
- Another church’s plan for 2025 included inviting all other ministry leaders in the planning of the 4th-Soil Project for 2025. They want to create an environment where the support for parents and families is a clear goal for the entire church.
- Another church is working to create a list of key messages to continue reinforcing in e-news, Facebook, worship, and meetings.They are deciding which messages to reinforce, all the time. And they’ve created a schedule for introducing 4th-Soil practices in different settings for the rest of the year, and to capture stories about their faith practices.
- Another church held two more “Listening Dinner Parties with their expanded 4th-Soil Parenting Team. The new members of the team were amazed at how fruitful those conversations were, and the long-term team members were affirmed in their listening. It added to what they had already heard and gave them an opportunity to expand programming in new ways. Instead of 4th-Soil Parenting-inspired programs like the church’s Book Clubs (where the 4th-Soil Team picked the book and facilitated the conversations), the team heard how frenzied parents are (specifically moms) and responded. Two new members on the team are grandmothers, and they wanted to serve these harried moms. They started a relationally focused group called P5 (for Moms of Pre-school through 5th grade) at one of their homes. They invited moms, with the simple purpose of listening to what they need. The first was a wine and wisdom kind of night—wine, conversation, support, and inspiration. The second was a facials and self-care focus. But the grandmothers are weaving in spiritual nuggets. The team is looking forward to seeing how this grows.
- Another church is changing the artwork and displays throughout the church building to express the church’s support for parent-focused faith formation and family faith practices.
- A pastor on staff with another church is enthusiastic about the Fuller Institute’s work with the 5/1 Project. He’s inspired by the idea of connecting each teenager in the church with five caring, non-parent adults in the church. This initiative requires a culture change in a church where non-parent adults are willing to financially support children’s and teenage programming but have not been as personally invested with the youth.
- Yet another church is celebrating a cultural sea-change: “One of the biggest wins is that our pastor is setting 4th-Soil parenting as a priority for the next three years for our congregation, across all ministries! We’ve named it ‘Deeper Roots for Greater Fruits!’”
As you are gearing up for another ministry season, what would it look like to simply listen to what’s happening in families in your congregation? What new patterns are emerging, related to moving to a home-centered, church supported model of formation? Can you lean in and let God help you listen to parents and families in a new way? What are the new questions on your scorecard?
Dr. Nancy Going serves as the Director of Research & Resource Development for Vibrant Faith. Nancy lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband Art, an Anglican priest, and they have launched two new families from their children.