I’m walking closely alongside two sets of parents who are raising young children in this world. I’m constantly struck by how different the shape of their lives is from what mine was when I was in that season of life. First of all, I’m just amazed by how much equipment there is (which has to be carried everywhere they go)—baby monitors, sleeping tents, and sound machines—so little can people sleep well. Of course, these things were not on my radar when I was a young mom, and I would have been SO grateful to have had access to them! I am also consistently aware of all the challenges and issues facing these parents that I just didn’t have to face or navigate—but that’s a topic for another reflection…
One reason parenting today is such a different animal is because it has been SO studied and examined and documented for a couple of generations now. Helpful techniques and tips are readily available, and come from many varied philosophical directions, adding to the anxiety that swirls around contemporary parenting. Just type #Parenting on Instagram or Google “parenting help” or browse the parenting section in a bookstore and you’ll quickly feel overwhelmed by the plethora of help available for a life task that has happened in and through families (for better or worse) for generations.
And for all the equipment AND tips and techniques, we’re learning that children aren’t actually faring better. Why?
At Vibrant Faith, we see parenting as a deeply spiritual practice, rather than a technical challenge. We believe that some people are called by God to the work of parenting. Understanding and accepting the task of parenting as a part of one’s life purpose or calling, instead of focusing on techniques or disciplines, changes everything about how a parent makes everyday decisions and choices.
We’ve been privileged to be a partner in the Lilly Endowment’s Christian Parenting and Caregiving Grant Project since 2022. As part of our preparation for the grant work, we recruited ministry leaders to hold dinner parties with parents, and gave them questions to begin conversations with parents about their own faith and the unfolding faith of their children. Then, as we launched our Fourth-Soil Parenting Project, we asked the 20 churches in our project to do the same—invite a group of parents to sit down for a nice dinner together and talk about what it’s like to raise children who will follow Jesus today.
One question we asked church-attending parents in both rounds of listening conversations was: “Do you view parenting as a calling?”
The answer in both settings was overwhelmingly “No,” followed by: “Hmmm, I never thought about it.” The power of calling as a significant catalyst in their life with Christ, and the impact of calling on their parenting, was not on their radar screen.
Helping parents to claim parenting as a calling adds deep dimensions to the process of raising children. Here are just a few:
- God, not the parent, is the author of their child’s story. Parenting is always a process of putting oneself aside for the needs of your children. But seeing God as orchestrating who this child becomes and what it looks like to lead and steward the gifts of this child is the calling of Christian parents.
- The goals for “called parenting” are different than raising “successful” or even emotionally independent children. Parents who see themselves as called by God to parent their children know that God is asking them to partner in this task as a part how God cares for the world. One of God’s goals for Christian parents is to share the power and significance of their relationship with Jesus with their children.
- This calling (as all callings do) shapes and changes the parent. Parents who take on the role as parents as one of their callings are changed by God through the process of day-to-day parenting these children. It is profoundly difficult and even heartbreaking at times. It happens over time, and can soften both our selfishness and pride as we embrace the consequences of our sin and seek forgiveness.Sounds fun, huh? But just think of all the parents who experience this personal transformation in spades when they are called to parent neurodivergent or children with disabilities.
- God draws near through the process of parenting. This is a unique season of the Christian life, when we are daily invited to present ourselves to God, and to invite God’s presence, through the crazy ups and downs of parenting. This is the subtle “side effect” of parenting—we’re invited to draw near to God, over and over.
This fall, into 2025, Vibrant Faith will be launching our 20 churches into helping parents become more fully aware of God’s calling them as parents. We look forward to continuing to share what we learn about from our churches and the impact on the parents they engage.
Make this the year that you and your church partners lean into FAMILYING the Faith. When you consider how to engage your parents, our strategies need to land comfortably in their everyday rhythms. They need spiritual prompting that fits their relational ecosystem. And they need Scriptural connections that are the MOST meaningful and resonant for them in the moment. We describe this as FAMILYING the Faith. It’s also the name of our new podcast—check it out HERE. And check out, below, two targeted resources we’ve developed to help you live out this vital aspect of ministry—Practical Tools for Raising Faithful Kids and the Familying the Faith kit.
Dr. Nancy Going serves as the Director of Research & Resource Development for Vibrant Faith. Nancy lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband Art, an Anglican priest, and they have launched two new families from their children.
If you liked this article, check out the following resources that help parents become the primary influencers of their children’s faith: 
Practical Tools for Raising Faithful Kids Familying the Faith.
